Solitude

Those who like me seek and cultivate solitude are sometimes thought misanthropic. I'm rarely thought this way given my way of life in fact solitude and silence becomes then a way of having 'time out' as if being and becoming we're somehow earned or measured in terms of future creativity.

In my experience the more I practice silence and solitude the more I'm conscious of my interdependence with other human beings and with this living breathing universe. I'm more conscious of people and situations that draw from me the prayer of compassion and loving kindness. I'm more grateful, more appreciative and more generous in my thinking and later in relationship with people.

Crowds or crowding through physical proximity or through emails and immersion in the media or in surfing the net draw me like a moth to a candle. I don't know what it is that draws me, some kind of inner need to feel appreciated or liked or some kind of needing to draw energy from others if that was possible. This over exposure moves me into the illusion of my own independence and importance and my ego seeking to be admired. It also moves me into poor judgement either not conscious of the agendas of others or into a kind of misanthropy and hopelessness.

Today after the funeral yesterday after a night of confused sleep and restless dreams I appreciate this aloneness and the gift of space and solitude to pray and reflect. As I walk through the trees and hear birds I breathe. I'm conscious that human beings have walked this land for 20,000 years or more, I'm invited into a new sense of self and of rejoicing in my interdependence.